by Kelly Pelton (written 25 Sept 2021)
Your constant kindness these last fifty years makes you my oldest friend, good-natured one. I have a tender heart toward you and tears as your health dips down like the setting sun. Your issues with women affected me, your daughter, striving to discern what's real; your faithful presence overwhelmingly outweighed the discouragement that I feel, for you invested your whole self in us, two girls of a patriarchal church man. Your pride in me enables me to fuss at ungodly church practices, to fan the flames of awareness among God's own. I thank God that you're my brother in Christ whose watching over me in fact has sown the seeds of worth and value that no heist or persecution can remove. This gift of your prioritizing us has meant more than you know, giving courage to sift and discard even what you think God sent, as in men in charge of women. I mean no disrespect in rejecting gender hierarchy, but it's now time to wean off worldly power structures that hinder equal input from Spirit-led Christians, gifts expressed for the whole congregation to be edified, ties to our missions assigned by God, kind cooperation. Your hobby was your daughters, no other competing claims on your time, nothing more important than Tracy, me, and Mother; your ministry was family, for sure. You'd been hurt by female domination and insensitivity, but never did you want to harm; your indignation flared at some, but your girls, hardly ever. This complicated father-daughter bond seems simpler to me as I get older. I realize how you've strengthened me; I'm fond of you, Dad, whose love has made me bolder. Never had you been punitive or torn me down or withheld love the way some do; never did you pressure me. Your time-worn face lights up each day when I visit you. You, who've excelled in "the greatest of these," whom I've enjoyed, respected, and adored from the time you would bounce me on your knees, let me watch over you now, love outpoured as I treasure these later years with you, your playful humor still undiminished, our loyalty to each other a clue of what comes after, once this time is finished.